So uh, I haven’t seen this on my dash, but check out this kickstarter!
They’re waterballoons that SELF TIE, make a HUNDRED at a time, AND AND they’re biodegradablee!! Seriously why isn’t this all over my dash yet??
They’ve already reached WAY over their goal, but you can still get some early bird deliveries for an early start of the water balloon madness!
What a time to be alive
tiny little turn ons:
- people leaning against walls with one shoulder while they talk
- catching somebody turning away smiling at a joke you made
- people who linger on a hug for just a second after you let go
- somebody glancing at your lips while you’re talking
Jesus is not a turn-on he is the way the truth and the light go 2 church and reflect on your nasty ass sins
why hate on trans boys when you can hate on cis boys
why hate on anyone when you can grow up and spread some positivity instead
Why hate people when you can hate humidity
Why stop at humidity when you can hate mosquitoes?
i fuckin hate mosquitoes
that’s the spirit
*SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* I WANT TO BE A HOT COSPLAYER
|me:||*just fucking smears the hotglue on with bare fingers*|
|me:||fire cannot hurt a dragon|
|Me:||*out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*|
|Random Old Lady:||*comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')|
|ROL:||Isn't he a little old for you?|
|Me:||Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.|
|Dad:||*chokes into his drink*|
|ROL:||You should respect your elders.|
|Me:||You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?|
|Dad:||*chokes on his drink again*|
|Dad:||*looks at me with a disapproving look*|
|Dad:||Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.|
the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”
fucking shit up with a wooden shoe
oh my god
well wooden shoe look at that
I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE
9 hours of studying and I can’t remember my own name but I can remember how to kill a man using a toothbrush so there’s that
the hell kind of classes are you taking?
I’m a forensic criminologist our slogan is “can’t run fast enough to be a serial killer so I’ll just help the police catch them”